Surprise!

Poop

I remember once upon a time when I would wake up at 9 or so and sip coffee while watching the Today Show. I would relax, get dressed, and start my day. Maybe I'd go to Starbuck's. Maybe I'd go to the office. Maybe, I'd actually have to go to work. In any event, my mind was nearly free of stressful things. I have two pregnant friends right now and I remember being exactly where they were mentally. It's so hard to explain how your focus and thought process changes. But not five minutes goes by without my thinking about Felicity. It's 9:56. I think about her being asleep. I wonder if her air conditioning is too cool. I think about what she'll want for breakfast tomorrow. I have a mental list of all the things to buy for her birthday party on Saturday. I know that she's nearly out of shorts and that I need to do laundry. I know that she'll need a bath tomorrow. My mind just keeps taking inventory of things that have nothing to do with me. I don't know what I would do with myself if I didn't think about her all the time. And I hope these two friends of mine are enjoying thinking about themselves for now. Because once there's a baby. It's over. Completely.

Now, I admit I don't mind thinking about breakfast and baths, the park, and dinner menus. But lately my whole life has been consumed by poop. Felicity is now potty-trained, but her fear of pooping is so strong that she witholds it for days at a time. She is in pain. She freaks out. She denies she has to go. We have tried EVERYTHING. She takes a laxative. Drinks prune juice. We encourage her with treats and presents and praise. But she is so afraid to poop. And, in turn, I have spent the better part of five days worried about the poop. If someone told me that the day would come when I would cease to think about anything but someone else's bowels, I would say you were crazy. I just hope that there's an end in sight. Because I am sick and tired of thinking about and worrying about poop. So there.